MacGuffin Schlock Shelf – Razortooth

Schlock Shelf – Razortooth

Razortooth Movie PosterRazortooth is another forgettable film about a genetically mutated swamp creature that escapes and begins killing innocent townspeople. This film is totally different, though, since it’s a killer EEL instead of a crocodile or shark. Oh wait, it isn’t different at all. And of course, the eel can slither on land and attack people by flying through the air. The producers (one of whom was only slightly associated with The Devil’s Rejects) should have demanded the eel was electric or had some other modified super power, rather than just growing to super-eel length. Maybe that would have held my attention longer than this particular plot.

The film starts with two inmates breaking out of prison through a drain. They’re running through some sort of drainage ditch when a horribly digitally-rendered watersnake-like monster starts gobbling up the people wearing police t-shirts. Commence laugh-inducing junior high camerawork, with flashlights in the bushes. The prisoners escape (even though they’re about 50 feet away and in plain sight) and the local lady sheriff lets the townsfolk know to be on the lookout for them.

Delmar is a local animal control officer who’s cleaning rat traps in a nearby restaurant. He tries to scare off some young girls who have been swimming in a local stream right before he gets called in on some various animal issues. The restaurant’s cook goes out back and finds the trash tipped over and this clear mucus all over the cans.

Some college kids are driving through the bayou and talking about Asian swamp eels that are apparently causing problems in the area and are taking over water sources. The kids are looking for a Dr. Abramson, to be his assistants/interns for the summer. Abramson is doing some sort of genetic modification to stop these eels that are disturbing the ecosystem. He explains how the eels can expel clear mucus to lubricate the ground as they slither across it, and also use their gills as a primary breathing apparatus, but still have lungs that function out of the water. Like on land. Seriously.

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There’s a canoe club holding an outing in the swamp. The parents wave goodbye as their kids head out into the wild. Delmar is watching the canoe club paddle around and notices some clear sludge on the bank of the swamp. The same clear sludge on the side of the trash cans behind the restaurant. Hmmmmmm… AND, it turns out Delmar and the town’s sheriff were once an item, and haven’t quite turned off the emotions. Meanwhile, pets and people are beginning to turn up missing, thanks to this hilariously poorly computer-generated flying eel with giant teeth.

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The sheriff seems to think it has something to do with the two escaped convicts from the opening scene. Seems plausible, doesn’t it? But it is weird that the convicts are swimming all around the swamp unharmed by the eel. The convicts hole up in one of their cousin’s shacks along the water. He’s already been eaten by eels, but they don’t know that yet. They find out soon enough, since the eel is like 25 feet long now and eating humans in two bites at this point.

There’s the typical “We got him! Wait. No we don’t!” fiasco, and the on-land and in-water chase scenes commence as expected. No plot twists rear their heads; it’s a pretty linear plot. Thankfully, the audience isn’t likely to expect much else from this film than what’s shown. I will say the lack of gratuitous nudity made the film that much more difficult to take, and the acting leaves a lot to be desired. The CGI isn’t even close and is absolutely unbelievable, even for a movie that will only air on SyFy. I’m a fan of genetically/radiation-mutated swamp creatures, and I was pretty bored in this film. Not recommended at all. And don’t let the “From A producer of The Devil’s Rejects” tagline fool you into thinking this is the same caliber film as that one.

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