MacGuffin Schlock Shelf – Sharktopus

Schlock Shelf – Sharktopus

Sharktopus—This not-based-on-a-true-story movie starts out with a shark attack on a bikini-clad co-ed. Yes, I said STARTS OUT. Brilliant. Eric Roberts is a scientist who has developed a combination of a shark and an octopus—a sharktopus, if you will. This sharktopus, named S-11, protects the girl from being eaten by a shark. Then the remote controller breaks off the sharktopus and it goes on a killing spree, targeting no one in particular.

The scientists are now trying to capture S-11 and bring him back home where he can be re-controlled. Eric Robert’s hot daughter is flirting with a young reckless scientist who’s trying to get paid all sorts of money to help out Eric Roberts. The sharktopus is on a murderous rampage in Puerta Vallarta, and a reporter has shown up to film it all and interview a local fisherman. The film crew catches some incredible footage, since they just happen to be in the right place at the right time —every time. And yes, the sharktopus attacks are as hilarious as you think they would be. Ever since I heard about this movie concept, I’ve dreamed about sharktopus attacks, and the ones on the film are pretty close to my scotch-induced dreams.

The sharktopus can walk on land using his tentacles, and walks all over. Just when people think they’re safe, the thing walks onto the shore and snaps them in two. The scientists are trying to hit the sharktopus with a tranquilizer gun so they can reestablish a remote control device on it and bring it home, but obviously the sharktopus isn’t having it. Anger the sharktopus, you get bit —maybe I’ll put that on my headstone when I die. The tranquilizer is in limited supply, so the scientists end up wasting all of it. The nerd and the vigilante scientist are just about fall in love when the tough guy is sent to finish off the sharktopus. They’ve given up on taking it alive—they just need to destroy it at this point.

The CGI (which is everything involving the sharktopus) is quite awful in this film. It is actually does approach the point where it’s comical, but doesn’t quite make it there. It simply remains in the embarrassingly annoying stage—which is unfortunate. The plot isn’t anything special, but at least was linear enough to base a decent movie around. Sadly, it wasn’t paced well and didn’t have me waiting for the climax of the movie. I was just waiting for it to be over so I could find something else to do. I had high hopes for Sharktopus making it to bad movie night, but I don’t think the action in the entire film is going to hold our attention.

(2 out of 5 fus)

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